Recycling leftovers

Every day people all over the world throw food away because it has been sitting in their fridges for too long and it has spoiled. I am, without a doubt, guilty of this. And I'm actually worse than most. I have a very low tolerance for leftovers. I generally feel that if something has sat for more than two or three days, it's no longer good. I can't help but picture icky bacteria and molds growing, eagerly awaiting the opportunity to poison my family and me. This is, in part, ridiculous. But, having suffered food poisoning a couple of times in my life, I am not eager to risk food mistakes (incidentally, my food poisonings were always caused by restaurants, not my own cooking).

But sometimes you open up your fridge and see nothing but leftovers in there and you know it's time to act. I have two ways of dealing with this. One is to throw everything in a big tupperware I keep in my freezer. Things such as rice, pasta, leftover veggies and pieces of meat are frozen for future use in a big pot of soup that will be, if nothing else, interesting. But today I opened our fridge and saw a lot of leftover mashed potatoes and half an onion. Those two things scream Shepherd's Pie to me!

I immediately looked up recipes. Most of the simple ones seemed to call for cream of mushroom soup which we don't have and my husband abhors. But we DO have tomato soup, and lots of it. When my husband got home from work I told him I was kind of "winging it" for dinner. He looked a bit concerned, and rightly so. I'm not known for my cooking prowess when not following a recipe. But I was feeling ambitious, and really, how hard can it be? Here's what I ended up making:

1.5 lbs ground beef
Half an onion
2-3 cloves of garlic
Frozen organic veggies found lurking in my freezer
Tomato soup
Salt and pepper to taste

Simmer all of this together draining off any fat as required. Put in some sort of baking vessel. I used a round casserole dish. Top with grated cheddar cheese and mashed potatoes (I put cheese both under and on top of the mashed potatoes). Bake at 400 for approximately 20 minutes.

The end result was a nontraditional, but delicious, Shepherd's Pie.

There are a lot of different recipe search engines out there and many of them even allow you to search by ingredients. Take advantage and clean out your fridge! Happy cooking. :)

Am I Crazy?

So, over the holiday weekend I had opportunity to spend time with family and friends who I haven't seen in a while. Inevitably, the question came up: "Are you still nursing?". Given my recent problems, the answer to this question is currently a bit complicated. It led me to telling the story of the Eskimo biting me and drawing blood and how he hasn't had nearly as much interest in nursing lately (incidentally, he seems to be regaining interest now, but that's not the point of this post). I was expecting perhaps some empathy from my family and friends. Both have nursed their children, though both weaned well before six months (no judgement here, just fact), so they have no experience with extended nursing. But what I got was pure, unfiltered shock with a touch of disbelief. They looked at me like I was crazy for continuing to nurse. I was not prepared for this.

Their reactions left me questioning myself. Am I insane for wanting to continue to nurse my son even though he has bitten me repeatedly, hits me while he's nursing and shows little interest anymore? He eats and enjoys plenty of solids, doesn't need to nurse in order to fall asleep and has never really used nursing for comfort. So why am I so stubbornly fighting this uphill battle? I have a few reasons.

My first reason is a bit selfish. I am not ready to be done nursing my baby. I don't know if I will have another child and this might be it for me. I am having a difficult time accepting the fact that my baby is now a toddler and is growing more quickly than I ever thought possible.Weaning seems like a very big signpost in the middle of the road telling me we have left baby-dom and are now entering the world of toddler-dom and beyond. Next thing I know he'll be headed to college. I kid you not, this is where my mind goes. I am not ready.

The second reason is the obvious health benefits for my son associated with nursing. He has been incredibly healthy throughout his first 13 months and I want this to continue as long as possible. If I can prevent or lessen the symptoms of one cold, then this has all been worth it. And I know he'll be receiving balanced nutrition from at least one source. I try very hard to provide healthy foods, but let's face it: sometimes it's frozen pizza night.

Another reason, and this is where the crazy comes in, is this sense of failure that comes over me when I feel like he's weaning too young. What did I do wrong? Yes, we've used bottles and pacifiers and I'm sure we introduced them too early. We don't cosleep. I introduced solids early and he took to them like a fish to water. We night weaned fairly early, too (though the Eskimo did this mostly on his own) and he's been sleeping 11-12 hours a night for a few months now. Check, check, check. But with every one of these actions, I was doing what I thought was best for my family. So who cares what anyone else might think, right? Except I do care what others think. I've established myself as a breastfeeder and I'm not prepared to fail at that just yet.

But, here I am, with my 13 month old, battling to keep him nursing. My friends and family think I'm nuts. I'm starting to think so too. No wonder so many mamas wean early. Were it not for my ridiculous stubbornness, I'm sure I would have given up weeks ago. But I'm one of those people who doesn't know when she's fighting a losing battle and who perseveres. Sometimes it's a waste of time and energy, but sometimes you end up with something amazing.

I've been told by multiple people, "You've done an amazing job nursing for so long. It's okay to wean." This is not what I need. I'm not looking for permission or an "out". I'm looking for support. For someone to listen and say, "It's awful that he bit you! How has it been going since then?". Choose your words carefully, mamas. Something you may think is supportive may actually be undermining another mama's confidence.

So, here's a final thought. Mamas, let's be supportive of one another. Parenthood is difficult on the good days and next to impossible on the bad days. We are all doing the best we can with the information and resources we have. Lend a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on when necessary. We all have our own ideas on parenting and I think that's amazing. And I'm not going to wean yet because, well, I'm crazy. :)

Spoke too soon

There I go getting ahead of myself again. We have not weaned. I swore I was done after the Eskimo drew blood and my husband was very understanding. He listened to me vent and told me I'd done a great job getting to 13 months. Then, the next evening, seeing that I was actually pretty upset about weaning the Eskimo, he encouraged me to try again. So, at bedtime, we went through our normal routine and I sat down with the Eskimo to nurse him and it worked! He nursed and he didn't bite me! Okay, he was hitting me the entire time, but I'm going to go ahead and put this one in the "win" column. Same deal last night. And this morning I even got him to nurse a little bit upon waking. Still no interest the rest of the day. Friday nights are a bit different for us because I work Friday evenings and miss bedtime. The Eskimo was asleep when I got home this evening, but around 10:30 he woke up screaming. Who knows why, but I ran up to his room and he nursed for a really long time, on both sides. He hasn't done that in, I don't know, a month or two? I don't know if we're turning a corner here or if it was just a lucky break, but even if I can only nurse him at bedtime, I'm going to do that as long as I possibly can. I want what's best for him, I want him to be happy and healthy, and I feel like breastfeeding is a vital part of this.

I will be the first to admit that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing here and I'm winging it from day to day. And just when I think I have something figured out, the Eskimo goes and changes the game on me. I have control-freak tendencies, so this has been one of the more difficult adjustments for me in parenting. I guess the point here is, don't give up. Or, better yet, find a partner who won't let you give up. :)

End of an era

I always knew that the Eskimo would wean at some point. It's inevitable. Babies grow into toddlers, toddlers grow into children and at some point, they have to quit nursing. I just didn't imagine that at 13 months, the Eskimo would be finished with nursing. Let's go back and give a little history.

When the Eskimo was born, I knew very little about breastfeeding. We had a very difficult start and I set an early goal for myself of six months. Six months came and went and I set a new goal of one year. As I became more educated about and comfortable with breastfeeding, I decided I'd let the Eskimo guide the relationship and self-wean. But I never imagined he'd do that at just 13 months of age. From what I've read and gathered from other mamas, most babies will self-wean somewhere between 18 and 24 months, so I figured we had time.

But, over the past few weeks, the Eskimo has shown little to no interest in nursing. I treated it like a nursing strike. I figured maybe he was getting some new teeth and we've been through this before. I started pumping again. But days turned into weeks, and I was lucky if I could get him to nurse decently a couple times a day. Then, yesterday as I was attempting to nurse him and put him down for a nap, he bit me. He's bitten me before, many times, but yesterday he drew blood. Naturally, I had a very strong reaction. He scrunched his face up, started crying, I put him in his crib and walked away. He was asleep within two minutes, so I'm guessing he bit me because he was very tired, not out of anger. But the damage was done.

Lately I've had the most success getting the Eskimo to nurse in the morning when he first wakes up. That's usually the only time he'll settle in and take in a decent amount of milk. But this morning, he flat out refused me. Combine that with the whole "once bitten, twice shy" complex I've developed, and there's not much to be done for it. He doesn't want to nurse, and I'm scared to nurse him. So, it's over.

Part of me is very, very sad. I didn't know that the last time he nursed would be the LAST time he nursed. And I know that he could still benefit greatly from nursing. It provides him with balanced nutrition and antibodies to support his immune system. And after the first year, breastmilk actually increases in fat and protein to support your growing, active toddler. Not to mention the fact that a nursing relationship is completely unique. You are providing something amazing for your child straight from your body, and that cannot be replicated with a bottle or a sippy cup. Also, it is SO much easier to put a toddler down for a nap when he's nursed first. He drifts off into dreamland with a belly full of warm, yummy milk.

Now for the flip side. I also feel relief. I no longer have to wear a nursing bra or tank everywhere I go. Soon, I can wear an underwire again! I don't have to worry if this will be the time he bites my nipple off (can you imagine that trip to the ER?!). And I don't have to be the one to put him down for naps and bedtime anymore. Anyone can do it. My husband and I could have a weekend away (yeah, right!) if we wanted to and I wouldn't have to drag along my breast pump. All of these are good things.

All things must come to an end. The end of my nursing relationship with my son is being met with some tears and some relief. And I'm not going to lie. I'll probably try to nurse him again a couple more times before I truly give up all hope. But based on the past few weeks, I think we may have entered a new stage in our mother/son relationship. And that's okay.

A new addition

I'd like to announce a new addition to our family: a Vitamix! For those of you who are unfamiliar with the glory that is a Vitamix, it is basically a blender with super powers. What's so great about the Vitamix is it makes eating healthy food easy! I've been making a smoothie for the Eskimo and me everyday after his afternoon nap. It's usually made up of some combination of fruits with spinach, flax and yogurt. The spinach makes them look absolutely disgusting, but they really are delicious! Yesterday's smoothie was made up of strawberries, spinach, banana, flax, yogurt and grapes.

My goal is to make at least one healthy smoothie a day, using as many organic ingredients as possible. It's a great way to sneak a serving of veggies into your child and the flax provides Omega fatty acids. You can also throw tofu in there if you need additional protein.

And smoothies aren't the only thing you can make in a Vitamix. You can make anything from ice-cream to soup. They also sell a dry blade attachment that allows you to grind your own flour. No, I'm not a paid Vitamix salesperson, but I am really excited about how easy this is making healthy whole-food eating. In just the last week, it has greatly increased my fruit and veggie intake and I'm excited to explore all the healthy options with our new appliance!

Advice on how to give advice

If you've been pregnant and/or have kids, you know that advice, solicited or not, is plentiful. I've been offered some really good and some really awful advice in the past couple of years. And whether or not I heeded it had little to do with the validity of the wisdom. I found that the way in which it was presented to me had the greatest affect on whether or not it was followed.

I have never responded well to people telling me what to do. When someone comes to me and says, "You need to do X", I have to fight the urge to do the complete opposite just on general principle. Yes, it's very juvenile of me, but that's the way I am. So, if someone had come to me while I was pregnant and said something like, "You NEED to breastfeed your baby", I would have been tempted to formula feed just to prove them wrong. Luckily, I had already made my mind up that I would breastfeed long before I found out I was pregnant. The point is, telling someone what to do is out of line and will rarely elicit the desired response.

Another approach you can take is to tell people what has worked for you. An example: "Breastfeeding has been amazing for us. The health benefits are well worth it and it ended up being easier for us than bottle feeding!". In this scenario, no instructions have been given. You have simply shared with another mama your own experiences. You have opened up an opportunity to educate another individual. If she's interested, she can ask you questions. If not, she can just say, "Wow, I'm glad it was so good for you!".

Let's face it. If you're a cloth diapering, breastfeeding, babywearing mama, you're not swimming in the mainstream. As a result, you can expect lots of people to ask you questions. And you probably feel pretty passionately about these activities and would like to share the benefits with other mamas. I've found that when you approach people with respect and remember that you do not know everything, you'll get a much better response. No one likes condescension, but most people are open to learning from someone who's been there.

Let's talk Goodwill!

Okay, so I'm going to go ahead and admit it: I'm a Goodwill addict. I wasn't always this way. I used to be one of those who turned her nose up at Goodwill. Sure, it was good enough for my old stuff, but no way was I going to use other people's old stuff! Then, I had a baby and as most of you know, the world changed. It still amazes me daily how such a tiny creature can change every single belief you ever held dear. But that's for another post. We're talking Goodwill here. :)

Most of you know that kids' toys are expensive. I mean majorly expensive. And I simply cannot afford to buy the Eskimo everything his little heart (or at this age, I suppose it's really what MY little heart) desires. I also can't justify filling my house with toys fresh off the production line, surrounded by wasteful packaging. But what I've discovered is a treasure trove. I started out small. I was dropping some things off and decided to stop in just to see what it was like inside. I hadn't actually been in a Goodwill in years. I looked around and realized that I was surrounded by kid's toys galore for $1 and $2 a pop. And most of them were in amazing condition. Now that's something I can afford! Check out this adorable piano I picked up for $0.99 yesterday.

The list of toys I've gotten for the Eskimo at Goodwill is embarrassingly long. But here's how I'm looking at it. Most of these toys are headed straight back to Goodwill when we're done. So I'm actually "renting" the toys for pocket change. And when the Eskimo's done playing with them (provided he doesn't destroy them), another child will get to do the same. We've been staying at Grandma and Grandpa's house the past few weeks and I was able to pick up a ton of toys for the Eskimo at their local Goodwill. When we head home on Friday, most of them will head right back from whence they came.

The best part of all this (well, I guess it's the second best since the best part is the huge smile on the Eskimo's face) is that by reusing toys, I'm preventing new toys from having to be made. I'm preventing packaging from filling up landfills and gallons of gas used for shipping from being burned. So, if you're not already on board with secondhand shopping, catch up, mamas! It's crunchy!